I’ve got a whole list of New Year’s resolutions that I don’t intend to keep: lose weight, drink less, exercise, read more, blah, blah, blah. Most of us make them every year with the best of intentions but they’re obviously dishonest. 

I do have a list that I DO intend to keep: try to be a better home-school teacher, exercise (maybe), read some, drink moderately more often, avoid Covid-19, take the vaccine and live till this time next year. 

Hope your Christmas was good. If we’re keeping score and trying to live for the next holiday, you need to hang on until midnight this Thursday. No parties for me this year. No wild, manic kissing people you barely know. I had planned my New Year’s Eve party around watching the Hogs versus the Frogs in the Texas Bowl.  But, alas  …

I will buy a bottle of cheap champagne for a toast at around 10 p.m. I doubt I can make until midnight. Black-eyed peas, cabbage and cornbread are on the menu for the First along with a slew of football games. And then I’ll start on that diet on the Second, Third or Fourth —   (Probably not.)

If 2020 didn’t suck enough, a dear friend of mine lost her battle with cancer on Christmas Eve. I know many others who lost loved ones during the holidays. 2021 can’t be any worse, but it might be. Hold on to your hat. Keep doing all those safe things. It’s too early to get numb or dumb. 

Happy New Year, Maumelle. 

Who Is the Banana Man? 

There have been several incidents of a masked Banana Man leaving bananas on front porches or in mailboxes at homes in Maumelle.  Here’s one report from the Nextdoor app: “We live in Osage on Manitou in Maumelle and last night around 1:00 am before going to bed, my husband was unplugging the Christmas lights and noticed someone had left a banana on our front door handle. We checked our doorbell video and it happened at 11:59 pm. He was dressed in khaki pants, had a face mask on and a purple top hat!”  According to another report and by watching the video, he also has a getaway driver. 

I saw the video and as weird as it sounds, there he was in living color. Strange but enjoyable. Who is that masked man? 

What are you watching? 

Here are a few quick reviews of recently released streaming movies and series: 

“Flight Attendant” (HBO Max) — B plus. Kaley Cuoco is surprisingly good; good supporting cast and compelling story line. 

“Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” (Netflix) — B minus. They basically filmed the stage play; but enjoyable with a good performances by the late Chadwick Boseman and Viola Davis. 

“Prom” (Netflix) — C minus. A totally formulaic movie; forgettable music and over-the-top, annoying performances 

“Let Them All Talk” (HBO Max) — C plus. Some interesting performances, but they do talk way too much. It does make me want to take a ride on the Queen Mary 2. 

“Soul” (Disney +) — B. You can’t go wrong with a Pixar film. Interesting story line with an intriguing look at living life before the afterlife.  

Word of the Week

I ran across a word that seems appropriate for Maumelle: Boulevardier ("bool-ah-vard-ee-a"). It is more commonly known as a cocktail composed of whiskey, sweet vermouth and Campari. But it also refers to a man who frequents the boulevards; thus, a man about town or bon vivant.

Hopefully, one of the bars will add this to their offerings and maybe Mayor Caleb Norris could create a special award for the Boulevardier of the Year. 

“You’ll never get bored when you try something new. There’s really no limit to what you can do.” — Dr. Seuss

See you on the Boulevard. 

Neal Moore is a public relations consultant and resident of Maumelle. Send your Maumelle news or comments to neal.moore@sbcglobal.net.